The Story of my Sanskrit by Kumud Pawde

The Story of My Sanskrit by Kumud Pawd

The essay The Story of my Sanskrit is an extract from Kumud Pawde's autobiography Antasphot (1981). She was born in Maharashtra in 1938 into Mahar Dalit family. This essay highlights a Dalit woman's progression in the field of education and employment systems. 

Pawde starts her essay by describing the "conflict of emotions" she experiences when people praised for her knowledge of Sanskrit. She disliked this praise as she was reminded about her caste she belongs to. For a Dalit woman to learn and teach Sanskrit, she says "is a dreadful anomaly to a traditional mind". Pawde states that the words of praise by others are like hot spears. When they praise her for teaching Sanskrit at the Government College, she feels their scorn.

Pawde shares an incident where she was first introduced to the Sanskrit language. At a puja (Hindu) ceremony Pawde, as a young girl was denied to listen to the mantras. This incident provoked her to learn the language that was restricted to her. Pawde's father encouraged her to learn the Sanskrit language. 

Pawde talks about two groups of people.

1. People who have a genuine regard for the speaker. 

2. People who have a genuine regard for the speakers caste.

Pawde is grateful to the people who regard the speaker genuine. She refuses to accept admiration as she feels that this would become a habit. On the Vijaya Dashami day of 1971, Pawde introduced the scholars of the Vedas in Sanskrit. She was inspired by Dr Kolte.

Pawde experienced disgust and hostility since her childhood days which helped her to face humiliation at the later stages of her life. Her friends were not permitted by their mothers to touch or play with her though she looked clean. Her mother smeared the floor with cowdung and drew rangoli designs in the courtyard. This emotion of disgust taught her to think at a very young age. 

Pawde learned Sanskrit by ignoring all the opposition. Her teachers Hatekar and Gokhale Guruji encouraged and helped her to learn the language. She participated in an essay competition at the Bhonsale Vedic School in the Mahal area. Her teachers and family members were kind and generous to her. She went through mixed experiences while studying in the college but she ignored those who taunted her and pretended to be deaf.

Pawde expected a high paid job from the government. But her dreams got scattered and she attended interviews in private colleges. After completing her Master Degree in English literature she got married to Pawde which was an intercaste marriage. After two months of her marriage she was appointed as an Assistant Lecturer in a government college. 

Through her essay, Pawde represents not only the injustices that her community faces but also voices the experiences of most of the women in her community.